he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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