cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
