You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
