It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
