I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
