her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
