D3 body, D1 cock
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
