I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
