you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
