Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Holy sore nipples Batman
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
