Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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