dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
