Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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