I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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