Will you blow on my dice?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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