I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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