I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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