Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
