First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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