Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
