Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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