i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
