whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
