At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
