Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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