i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
