Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
