we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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