my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He? As in you personified your dick?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
