just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
