so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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