how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize