I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
