Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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