I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He passed out mid-signature
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
