Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
