Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
