I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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