We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
