We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
