its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
