I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize