Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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