Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
