idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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