This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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