I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize