That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
