Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
