Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i believe in u and ur pee
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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