Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
