Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
