I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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