he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
