You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
