I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
