Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
