I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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