yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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