How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
