Cold hands, warm shart.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he fucked my hip out of place.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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