the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
