NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
