Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
