I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
