Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
