I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
