We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize