Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
