1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
