I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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