If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
