he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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