Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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